Season 2 episodes
Murder-Set-Pieces (2004)
Listen in as me and returning guest Devon flounder as we try to find a reason why this film exists.
Written and directed by Nick Palumbo (Nutbag, Murder-Set-Pieces), the Christian Science Monitor (yes, you read that correctly) called the film "an interesting effort to make the ultimate horror movie," while Variety, The New York Times, Village Voice, and New York Post basically called it garbage. What is the truth? Well... 4 out of 5 dentists can't be wrong, can they?
It tells the story of a psychotic Photographer, played with cartoonish zest by Sven Garrett (Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless, Dances with Werewolves), as he trolls around Las Vegas picking up strippers and prostitutes for photo sessions that end in rape, torture, and murder. That's about it. Oh, he is dating a woman named Charlotte, played by Valerie Baber (Emmanuelle: The Private Collection), whose younger sister Jade discovers the murderous truth of the Photographer. Okay, that's really it. Lot's of nudity, not great acting, oodles of fake blood.
The film is currently available on DVD in R-rated and Director's Cut versions.
I Am Here.... Now (2009)
Listen in as me and Richard, our resident specialist in Breenism, discuss the technique, philosophy, and confounding style of this enchanting indie film.
Written, directed, produced, and edited by REALTOR®-cum-auteur Neil Breen (Double Down, I Am Here.... Now, Fateful Findings, Pass Thru, Twisted Pair), this film has been called "unfocused and confusing" by Chicken Dynasty, while Marc Fusion likened it to "mind melting cinema." Look, finding legitimate reviews of this film was tough. Considering Breen has been wowing the indie circuit for years I am surprised. You know what, just Google "Neil Breen."
It tells the story of a cosmic cyborg-like Jesus figure who comes to Earth in a shitty paperweight. Of course he chooses to land in Las Vegas and immediately laments the downfall of his "project," our species... the human species. From there he steals clothes and truck from a junkie couple, cruises around the Vegas Strip, befriends a dying old man in a wheel chair, has some sort of relationship with an environmentalist turned escort, and literally wipes away corruption in the form of crooked lobbyists and politicians. This film is batshit.
Neil stopped selling it solo on his website, but you can find it at dvdlady.com.
Curse of the Komodo (2004)
Listen in as me and my guest, Joe, consider the finer points of gratuitous skinny dipping, huge Komodo scat, and infinite ammo.
Directed by Jim Wynorski AKA Harold Blueberry AKA Sam Pepperman AKA Salvadore Ross AKA Jay Andrews (House on Hooter Hill, The Witches of Breastwick, The Hills Have Thighs), and written by Steve Latshaw (Planet Raptor, Megaconda, Invisible Dad), the Video Vacuum called the overall film "watchable, but inessential," while Dr. Gore's Movie Reviews said "the action scenes are tedious." Oy... What kinda movie did I pick?
It tells the story of a band of thieves who find themselves stranded on a secret island populated by a small band of top secret researchers and one big ass Komodo dragon. As they join the scientists in a fight for survival, they find themselves battling Komodo-saliva-induced zombies and the US military. It's... definitely something.
The film is currently available on IMDb TV, Tubi, and for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime Video.
Check out Joe's podcast, That Was Disappointing..., here. Fine, fine... It's my podcast as well.
Irreversible (2002)
***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED***
Listen in as me and my returning guest, Mike, talk through this polarizing work.
Written and directed by Gaspar Noe (I Stand Alone, Into the Void, Love), Rolling Stone said the film was "artfully crafted" while the Wall Street Journal countered by calling it "almost literally unendurable." See? Polarizing.
Told in reverse, it tells the story of a quest for revenge after Alex (portrayed by the incredible Monica Bellucci) is savagely raped and beaten. Her boyfriend Marcus (played by the fantastic Vincent Cassel) and her friend Pierre (Albert Dupontel) rush through some of the seedier side streets and back alleys of Paris in search of the vicious attacker, Le Tenia.
The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Tubi, Blu-ray, and DVD.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
Listen in as me and returning guest Dan take a pee-soaked, snot-strung stroll down memory lane with this horrific example of a "family film."
Directed by Rod Amateau (Son of Hitler, Drive-In, Gilligan's Island) and written by Amateau and Linda Palmer (Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie), TV Guide Magazine called the film "stunningly inept and totally reprehensible," and The Globe and Mail said "it is charmless, humorless, cynical and mean-minded." Man, oh man. Sure, I was a child when I used to watch this, but it can't be *that* bad... can it? Let's find out!
It tells the story of a apparent 14-year-old orphan named Dodger (Mackenzie Astin, giving it his all) who lives/works for Captain Manzini (Anthony Newley, who brings some sense of grace to the proceedings), and is constantly bullied by a trio of twentysomething thugs. Tangerine (Katie Barberi), the girlfriend of ringleader Juice, finds herself kind of endeared to Dodger then flat out using him for clothing made by the titular oddball children. Captain Manzini has been keeping them captive in a garbage can in his store because that's what one does. Look, it doesn't make any sense, okay? But there is a State Home for the Ugly, really bad animatronic suits, and lots of farts. Be honest, that's why you're here, right? It's the farts.
The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, DVD, and Blu-ray.
Be sure to check out Dan's awesome podcast! You can find it at http://justonethingpodcast.com
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)
Listen in as me and returning Birdemic specialist, Dave, giggle and revel at this amazingly ridiculous sequel.
We're back for more BIRDS! Written and directed by self-proclaimed auteur James Nguyen (Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Birdemic 2: The Resurrection, Julie and Jack), Movie Rewind said " if you liked the first movie for all its stupid, quirky charm, you’re bound to have a great time suffering through this one as well," and Splatter Critic said it's "terrible in countless ways, yet hard to condemn since it’s so unabashedly stupid." Yep. That about covers it.
It tells the continuing story of Rod (Alan Bagh, back in action and swinging for the fences) and Nathalie (Whiney Moore, back like a good sport) as they continue their lives after the horrific events of the first film. Rod's buddy, Bill (fantastically wooden Thomas Favaloro), is a promising young director who needs cash for his passion project. Rich Rod signs on as long as his lady fair and his adopted son can be in the film. Random conversations about old Hollywood movies and the struggles of being and actor, writer, or director are highlighted. Finally the birds attack, cave people from the La Brea tar pits rise, and zombies show up. It is fucking nuts.
The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Fear Factory, Tubi, Pluto TV, and DVD.
Fateful Findings (2013)
Listen in as me and resident specialist in Breenism, Richard, as we plumb the depths of this strange and abstruse masterpiece.
Written, directed, produced, and edited by master indie auteur Neil Breen (Double Down, I Am Here.... Now, Fateful Findings, Pass Thru, Twisted Pair), Screen Anarchy called the film "compelling in its pervasive oddness," and Indie Film Cafe said "never in history has $25.95 plus shipping and handling been more wisely spent!" With acclaim like that do you really need more reasons to see this? If so, did you know that Breen was also the accountant, craft service, special make-up effects, location manager, production designer, sound editor, lighting design, wardrobe, and set decorator for the film? This man's talent knows no bounds!
It tells the story of Dylan (the head honcho, Breen), an author of one book and hacker of many government and corporate secrets, as he suffers a car accident that sets him on a collision course with his childhood love, Leah. Along the way magical things happen, he hacks more secrets, sees psychiatrists, people get murdered, hotdogs get knocked over, and lots of looooong pauses in dialogue are taken. Look, I cannot possibly do this film justice trying to explain it. See it in all it's glory for yourself.
The film is currently available for rent or purchase Amazon Prime or Apple TV, and on DVD at https://www.fatefulfindings.biz/.
The Alien Factor (1978)
Listen in as me and returning guest, Kenny, set this interplanetary zoological disaster film under or microscopes.
Written and directed by Maryland’s greatest unknown talent Don Dohler (Blood Massacre, Galaxy Invader, Nightbeast), the Bloody Pit of Horror called the film both “extremely cheap-looking, amateurishly acted, poorly edited and filled with continuity errors” but also said it was “a fun and charming no budget creature feature." Video Religion said "the movie is a significant example of no-budget filmmaking, not because it does an excellent job of hiding its shortcomings, but because it goes all out with what it does have.” That really sums up Don’s work. Might not have had much, but he swung for the fences with what he did.
It tells the story of a small Maryland town that sees an alien spaceship crash. The occupants, a trio of deadly alien specimens, escape and begin to terrorize the town. Hope is found when a stranger shows up in town claiming to have tracked the crash. He hunts the aliens down and starts to gain the trust of those around him, but he too harbors a secret…
The film is currently available on Amazon Prime Video, DVD, and Blu-Ray.
Zardoz (1974)
Listen in as me and returning guest, Peter, become one with the Tabernacle and aim our kaleidoscopes at this trippy piece of 70s sci-fi.
Written and directed by John Boorman (Deliverance, Exorcist II: The Heretic, Point Blank), Entertainment Weekly called the film "silly [and] impenetrable," while the New Yorker said it was "a glittering cultural trash pile." Man, even the "nicest" review from Entertainment Weekly was harsh.
It tells the story of a future where man has separated in to small bands of immortal folks living in medieval-style villages with killer wifi and an omnipresent AI caretaker, and the rest of humanity has been left outside the walls to roam the lands as killers, rapists, and brutes. Hm... Kinda sounds like a commentary on the 1% or something... Anyway, the barbarians worship a floating stone head controlled by an aforementioned immortal. This faux religion is used to control the barbarians until one day, mustachioed Sean Connery sneaks aboard and is taken to where the immortals live. It just gets weirder and more colorful from there.
The film is currently available on Prime Video for rent or purchase.
Howard the Duck (1986)
Listen in as me and returning guest Dan settle in with a Duckweiser and thumb through that latest issue of Playduck as we revisit the first feature film about a Marvel character.
Directed by Willard Huyck (Messiah of Evil, French Postcards, Best Defense), who also co-wrote the film with Gloria Katz (American Graffiti, More American Graffiti, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), TV Guide Magazine called the film "a monumental waste of time" and the A.V. Club said it was "desperately unfunny." What the hell is wrong with these people? I think they saw a different film... I agree with Empire who said it was "a crazy comedy" and IGN who stated it was "fun to watch." Screw the haters!
It tells the story of Howard T. Duck, a charismatic smartass anthropomorphic duck who is ripped from his planet, Duck World, and plopped down into the best area Cleveland, Ohio has to offer. He befriends struggling up-and-coming rocker Beverly (played by the electric Lea Thompson) who introduces him to her wannabe scientist friend Phil (Tim Robbins with full-tilt Nic Cage energy), and the two set about trying to return Howard to his home. Inter-dimensional demons and a zany turn by the talented, yet problematic, Jeffrey Jones keep this adventure firing on all cylinders. Let's not forget, there's a killer theme song.
You can find the film on Amazon Prime Video for rent or purchase and on DVD and Blu-ray.
Double Down (2005)
Listen in as me and returning guest Richard, our resident specialist in Breenism, revisit the film that started it all for indie auteur wunderkind Neil Breen.
Written and directed by first-time filmmaker Neil Breen (Fateful Findings, I Am Here....Now, Pass Thru, Twisted Pair), Worst Movies Ever Made called the film "a real, honest-to-goodness chore to sit through," and Zeegrade Reviews doubled down themselves and said that Neil "[makes] Ed Wood look like Christopher Nolan." They aren't wrong. This movie is baaaaaaaaad.
It tells the story of a "brilliant" hacker/secret operative/ex-fighter pilot who lives in his car, eats only can tuna (when not spilling it on his lap), and controls much of the world's satellites and systems from a couple shitty laptops and a Dish Network receiver c-clamped to his trunk. The love of his life was killed and now he is taking revenge by terrorizing the Las Vegas strip while also saving the Las Vegas strip...? I don't fucking know. Watch it and if you figure it out email me. I'll send you a crisp $2 bill.
The film is exceptionally hard to find. You might see it pop up on YouTube occasionally or might find an out of print DVD. I'd normally say you should try to get it, but this one is pretty bad.
Goblin (2020)
Listen in as me and listener and first-time guest, Chris, chat about this little slice of indie film ambition.
Directed by first-timer Chris Lee and written by first-timer Rosa Parnake, Film Threat called the film "as indie as it gets," while Tales of Terror said the film "has surprises up its sleeves that redeem the weaker moments." Did they watch the same film I did?
It tells the story of Sara as she moves to a new home in the suburbs with her son, Sam, and her abusive husband and douchebag stepson, Danny and Danny Jr. respectively, only to find that there is a creature lurking about eating dogs and people. Their enigmatic and (questionably) Danish neighbor Elias pops in to provide some much needed exposition about the history and presence of the creature — a goblin. Danny gets drunk, Danny Jr. listens to death metal, Sam draws creepy things, and Sara tries to navigate it all.
The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Plex, and Tubi.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED***
Listen in as me and returning guest Jan carve into the controversial godfather of found footage cinema.
Directed by Ruggero Deodato (Body Count, Cut and Run, Concorde Affaire '79) and written by Gianfranco Clerici (Zorro the Rebel, Jungle Holocaust, Nazi Love Camp 27), Time Out called the film "uniquely unpleasant," while the A.V. Club said "there's no denying its effectiveness." Love it or hate it, you cannot deny that this film has had long lasting impact on cinema and some of its most influential voices.
It tells the story of noted anthropologist Professor Harold Monroe, played by porn star Robert Kerman (Inside Seka, Anyone But My Husband, Spider-Man), who is sent into the Amazon rainforest in search of a missing documentary film crew. What he finds are human remains, film reels of the crew's journey, and a gaggle of cannibals. Toss in some animal cruelty sequences to sell the veracity of the images on display and you have one of the most controversial films in cinema history.
The film is currently available on AMC+, Prime Video, Blu-ray and DVD.
Pro tip: Most versions are not for the faint of heart. If you want to find the animal cruelty-free cut look for a runtime of 90 minutes.
As mentioned in the show, check out the trailer for "Queen of the Angels" here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CbvENONpVp1/
Pass Thru (2016)
Listen in as me and returning guest Richard, our resident specialist in Breenism, dive into indie auteur wunderkind Neil Breen's fourth feature film.
Written and directed by filmmaker Neil Breen (Fateful Findings, I Am Here....Now, Double Down, Twisted Pair), HorrorNews.net said the film "reaches hilarious levels of ineptitude that is hard to believe exists until you witness it for yourself," while WeAreCult.rocks call it "Breen's most consciously surreal and dreamlike work." It's a far cry from Double Down and, man, it's great to be back with the Breen I know and love!
It tells the story of an AI entity from the distant future (played of course by Breen) who comes back to present day to annihilate 300,000,000 "bad and corrupt people" to save humanity. That's pretty much it. There are time planes, an side plot about an old man and some kids trying to track down a mysterious signal, a group of immigrants who are kidnapped, and a superimposed tiger. It's magnificent.
The film is only available through Neil's official purchase site:
www.pass-thru-film.com
Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED***
Listen in as me and returning guest Joe try to recover from seeing this controversial work.
Written and directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini (The Decameron, The Canterbury Tales, Arabian Nights) New York Times said the film was "a perfect example of the kind of material that ... can be acceptable on paper but becomes so repugnant when visualized on the screen that it further dehumanizes the human spirit." TV Guide stated that "despite moments of undeniably brilliant insight, [the film] is nearly unwatchable, extremely disturbing, and often literally nauseous." The Village Voice said the film "retains the power to disturb in the era of the sham-seditious blockbuster." No matter how you cut it, this film is CRAZY and is in a league of its own.
It tells the story of four libertine authorities at the end of World War II in Fascist Italy. They kidnap a group of young boys and girls as unwilling participants in their perverse and disturbing 120-day orgy of depravity. Hiring a quartet of prostitutes to tells stories of their lives to kickstart the libertines' libidos, the activities progress from sexual violence to coprophilia (shit-eating and shit-play) to eventual torture and murder.
It's a really, really fucked up movie.
The film is currently available on DVD and Blu-Ray. Watch at your own risk.
The Human Centipede III (2015)
Listen in as me and my resident Human Centipede specialist, Chris, try to figure out why this unnecessary sequel exists.
Written and directed by Tom Six (The Human Centipede 1 & 2, The Onania Club), the Los Angeles Times called the finale to the trilogy "frightless and boring," while Entertainment Weekly said "the Human Centipede 3 is crap." Talk about blunt.
It tells the story of unhinged prison warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser, who played the villain in the first film) and his failing prison in the middle of a desert hell. Faced with unruly prisoners and a threat to his funding, Bill turns to his creepy little accountant, Dwight Butler (played by part 2's villain, Laurence R. Harvey), for ideas. The best one they come up with is to take inspiration from the first two films and stitch all the prisoners ass-to-mouth. Uber meta, right? Of course, the plan is green lit by Bill and what could possibly go wrong..?
The film is currently available on AMC+, IFC Films Unlimited, Prime Video, and of course Blu-ray and DVD.
Faces of Death (1978)
Listen in as me and my guest Devon discuss the film whose legend is nearly without equal.
Written and directed by John Alan Schwartz (Faces of Death 1-6), Screen Anarchy called the film "a curious bit of film history, but nothing more," while Mondo Bizarro said "this movie sucks." Well, seems like folks aren't as bowled over by this film as they were when it blew up in the 80s via the VHS market.
It tells the story... Okay, well, it's not really a story. It's a documentary about death. That's pretty much it. We are introduced to a "pathologist" named Dr. Gross (played by Michael Carr) who tells us he decided to study death and the film is the summation of his findings. Albeit, the lore around this film shines brighter and rings louder than the work itself, one cannot deny its infamy. To truly appreciate what was done here you need to think about the world in which it was made, then you will see that this really was rather subversive.
The film is currently available on Blu-Ray and DVD.
Twisted Pair (2018)
Listen in as me and returning guest and resident expert in Breenism, Richard, complete our season long look into the collective works of Neil Breen by breaking down his fifth work.
Written and directed by wunderkind auteur Neil Breen (Double Down, I Am Here....Now, Fateful Findings, Pass Thru), it is the fifth and (as of this recording) most recent film by Breen. Indie Film Café called the film "a masterpiece of the WTF," and One Star Classics said they "don’t even know where to start describing the actual movie." Neil, ya might have outdone yourself with this one.
It tells the story of a set of twins, both played by Breen, who were taken by an entity and gifted "powers." One uses them for good to complete "missions" and the other does not. There are strained relationships, secret missions for a secret agency, a murder basement, and a whole lot more weird shit.
The film is currently available on Prime Video and DVD.
VFW (2019)
Listen in as me and returning guest Dan put on some ponchos and wade through this splatterfest of violence.
Directed by Joe Begos (Almost Human, The Mind's Eye, Bliss) and written by first-time screenwriters Max Brallier and Matthew McArdle, the A.V. Club called the film "a visceral throwback to the gritty action fare that lined video store shelves in the early ’80s," and Slashfilm said "it's vile, slick with repugnance, and appropriately inhumane." This film is FUCKING AWESOME.
It tells the story of VFW bartender Fred, played by Stephen Lang (Don't Breathe, Avatar), and his fellow veteran friends played by William Sadler (The Shawshank Redemption, The Mist), Fred Williamson (MASH, From Duck Till Dawn), Martin Kove (Karate Kid), and David Patrick Kelly (The Warriors, The Crow), as they fight to protect Lizard, a young woman on the run from a ruthless drug lord and his army of mindless tweakers. It's simple, violent, and absolutely fun. Just watch it!
The film is currently available on Prime Video, AMC+, Blu-ray and DVD.
Watch Dan play video games here: www.twitch.tv/JustonethingDM
Ice Cream Man (1995)
Listen in as me and returning guest Mike scoop into the gory bucket of fake blood and melting ice cream that is this film.
Directed by Norman Apstein (Ice Cream Man, numerous porn flicks) and written by one-time writer Sven Davison (Ice Cream Man), Entertainment Weekly called the film "entertaining trash," and All Horror said it was "a love it or hate it type of movie." When you have Clint Howard in an all-white outfit and a shit-ton of blood, ice cream, and one-liners you KNOW it's going to be lit. Trust me, I wouldn't end the season on a dud!
It tells the story of Gregory (played deliciously insane by Clint Howard) who witnesses the drive-by shooting of his ice cream man as a child. After spending his formative years in the loony bin, he assumes the mantle of his fallen hero after he is released. That's when the murdering starts. Dogs, slutty women, cops, and kids... No one is safe from... THE ICE CREAM MAN!
The film is currently available on DVD and Blu-ray, Tubi, Pluto TV, Plex, and AMC+.
Thank you for joining this season, see you in 6 weeks!